BISMILLAH
Hmm..."Pelajar putus harapan", that's what my TITAS lecturer said to us (RS Course). Well, he can't be blamed for, It is we to who did not perform well in our tasks and assignments.
This morning, we had our lecture as usual. It was Asian and Islamic Civilization Study (TITAS). It started late because Ustaz Abdullah, our lecturer, had to go back to his office because he left our carry mark's result there. So, as he entered class, he was quite pale and seemed ill. It was confirmed though when he said he was not feeling today. So, he said he just wanted to give up our test and assignment marks and needed the signature for our attendants. Thus I quoted some of his speeches that really troubles and makes me feel like "putus harapan" too.
"...selama 5 tahun saya menagajar subjek ini, tidak pernah ada kelas yang dapat result seteruk kamu..."
"...kamu tidak menampakkan kesungguhan dan komitment dalam kelas saya, assignment kamu pun tidak mengikut format yang saya inginkan..."
"...kamu adalah pelajar yang sudah putus harapan, baru tahun pertama, tapi sudah menunjukkan prestasi yang teruk..."
"...saya yakin dengan result yang ada sekarang, kemungkinan untuk ramai yang fail bagi kelas ini sangat tinggi..."
OUCH, OUCH and OUCH!! That really darn hurts!! It really penetrates deep in my heart though I was not one of those students who got the low marks. Actually, to be exact, I got 52 out of 60 for my carry marks, which from a layman's view, I should be comfortable with it. But I'm not a person who just sits back and enjoy the fruits of my plantings while others starve to death because of their mistakes. This class IS my responsibility. What goes wrong of it, I MUST take action. Being the de facto leader of the Project First Class (PFC) gives me such worries seeing my friends not performing very well. It's just that, it also made Ustaz Abdullah a first bad impression to us.
Man, but still after what Ustaz Abdullah said about us, many of them seemed unaware of the FREAKIN' SITUATION!! Don't they know that we have only about 10 days left before the final exam? Because some of them, without feeling ashamed of themselves, even skipped class TITAS, also Hubungan Etnik (HE) that evening. MAN!! What is wrong with you guys? Don't you guys ever learn from your mistakes? The situation that we're facing right now seems similar to what happened during matrix. Just like my class. Obviously, it's like they don't have a future or is it that I'm wrong? Please tell me that I'm wrong. Tell me that I need to understand them more and see what is the problem they are facing.
Man, with all this piled up in my head + the exam is just around the corner + haven't covered fully all my subjects + STILL COULD NOT ADAPT TO THIS REMOTE SENSING COURSE = ........who knows what will happen. Could be I failed, or just across the border. But I believe in Allah's might and power. I believe HE will help those in need of guidance and support. I believe he will not fail those who strive hard for HIS sake. But what HE gives is always part of the test of life that still needs to go through with a lot of patients and steadfastness.
"Do men think that they will be left alone on saying, "we believe" and that they will not be tested?" [Al-'Ankabut, 29 :2]
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